Shinigami's French Toast
by cobalt kitty
Summary: Duo's challenge is unimaginable, it's unbelievable, it's catastrophic, it's--making breakfast for his comrades. *Yaoi 2x1; 3+4*
1. challenge

Disclaimers: I have a dog, but you can't have him.  
  
Warnings: YAOI 2x1, implied 3+4 (don't like, don't read), humor, sap/fluff, Duo in the kitchen, mild language.  
  
Notes: This is how I pictured Duo making French Toast. Enjoy!  
~!~!~!~!~  
Shinigami's French Toast  
  
Part 1  
~!~!~!~!~  
----  
  
AC 196, Friday night:  
  
----  
"Really...I shouldn't."  
  
"Come on Maxwell, you NEVER do anything."  
  
"Yes I do!"  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Besides banging Yuy every chance you get."  
  
"Oh. Nevermind then."  
  
"That's what we thought."  
  
"You don't WANT me to."  
  
"Yes, we do."  
  
"Believe me, no. You. Don't."  
  
"We do."  
  
"Don't."  
  
"Do."  
  
"Don't."  
  
"Do."  
  
"Don't!"  
  
"Maxwell dammit! Just do it!"  
  
"Right Duo, you have to do something around here sooner or later. You can't think that we're going to do everything for you. You must take on your own responsibilities."  
  
"I'm telling you for the last time, I'm not gonna cook for you guys!"  
  
"Were not asking for a meal, just French Toast!"  
  
"FINE!"   
  
*SLAM*  
  
Running up the stairs, Duo rolled his eyes as he slammed the door as he entered Heero and his room. His comrades didn't know how bad he was in the kitchen and they were asking him to cook breakfast tomorrow morning. Wufei was complaining that he never helped out around the place that the five of them were staying at, a smaller one of Quatre's many estates waiting for a mission.   
  
Everyone was required a chore to keep their living quaters clean; since no house keepers were available. Somehow Duo had gotten someone else to do his chores for him every time. Whether it was Wufei to mow the lawn, Quatre to clean the pool, Trowa to vaccum, or even Heero, which was pretty surprising once the other boys found out, whom cleaned the toilets.  
  
Thus, Quatre and Trowa tried to compromise with him; Duo would be required to make breakfast in the morning and only wash the dishes after lunch and dinner. Sounds easy enough, ne? Save the fact that...  
  
Duo doesn't cook.  
  
"And they call *ME* a baka!" Duo spat, "I don't even know HOW to make French Toast..."   
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
"Trowa, do you think he'll actually cook, and not get Heero to?" Quatre asked sitting beside his lover on the couch.  
  
"Ha! He bettern ot! Or he will get his ass kicked and meet the tip of my kantana!" Wufei ranted as he over heard Quatre while coming downstairs to get a drink.  
  
Trowa ignored the Chinese boy's curses and swears. "I don't know, if he does, we have a free meal. If he doesn't, we'll resort to the cereals." Trowa shrugged turning the page of his book.  
  
"I suppose. Should one of us keep an eye on him in the kitchen?"  
  
Trowa shrugged again, "Heero will probably be hovering his shoulder watching him."  
  
"That's right, Heero comes back tonight, doesn't he?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
Quartre sighed. He had a bad feeling about all of this...  
  
~!~!~!~!~   
  
*SLAM*  
  
Duo smiled as he heard the door. 11:30 PM, right on time.  
  
"Hee~chan's home!" the braided boy sang and bounced downstairs.   
  
Heero had just come back from a three-day solo mission. Hot and sweaty, Heero began up the stairs.  
  
"Hee-chan!"  
  
*THUMP*  
  
As the Perfect Soldier was pinned to the ground with an 'oof', he was suddenly showered with kisses, "I missed you SO much!"  
  
"Hi Duo."  
  
"Did you miss me, Heero?"  
  
"Yes Duo, I missed you."  
  
"I was getting worried!"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"So? What's wrong with me caring?"  
  
"Duo, get off."  
  
"Kiss me." Duo ordered, Heero smirked at the braided baka above him and kissed his lips, "Arigato!" Duo pulled his lover and himself off the carpeted floor. "How was the mission?"  
  
"Hn." Heero grunted as Duo and he walked up to their room.  
  
"That bad, huh? I'm sorry." Duo pecked the boy on the cheek, "Ugh, Hee-chan, you reek."  
  
Heero glared, he was aware of that.  
  
"Let's take a bath." Duo suggested. Heero nodded, it was exactly what he needed; a nice hot bath with Duo. Once in the room, Duo went to the bathroom and started up the water. The exhausted dark haired boy plopped down on the bed and closed his eyes. Damn, he was glad to be back.   
"Bath's ready!" Duo called. Heero stripped down to nothing and joined the other in the hot tub. Compliments to Quatre for the nice room.  
  
The bubbling water felt good against Heero's skin as well as Duo's caressing. Purring, he was facing Duo in the boy's lap totally relaxed.   
  
"Poor Hee-chan," Duo kissed the boy resting on his chest as well as thighs, "Tired?"  
  
Heero nodded.  
  
"Then I guess you don't want me to tell you what I get to do for everybody tomorrow, ne?"   
  
Heero raised his head and quirked an eyebrow, "What are you going to do for everyone?"  
  
"I'll tell you later, maybe after a nap."   
  
"Duo, I'm not a baby." the boy frowned.   
  
"Right, and I'm not Shinigami. Uh-huh."  
  
"What are you going to do for everyone?"  
  
Duo sighed, "They want me to cook breakfast for them."  
  
A strange sound being held back by the cobalt eyed one escaped his lips.  
  
"Hee-chan...?"  
  
The noise became louder and was distinctively known as a chuckle.  
  
"Why are you chuckling at me?"  
  
"They want YOU," Heero pointed at Duo, "to cook for THEM?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
Heero couldn't help himself, he burst out into a series of giggles.  
  
"You're laughing at me now, are you?" Duo asked in amusement. He smiled down at the boy.  
  
They both knew that Duo couldn't cook worth shit. Heero almost croaked and died from the awful food Duo had once prepared for him. Afterwards, Heero cooked for the two.  
  
When the Japanese boy's giggles had subsided and a mini-water fight, they dried themselves and settled on the bed.  
  
"Duo?" Heero asked rolling over to face Duo.  
  
"Aa?"  
  
"Why are you going to cook breakfast for them?"  
  
"Because Wu complains that I never do anything around here."  
  
"Then you deserve it."  
  
"Nani? You're agreeing with them?"  
  
"Aa, you DON'T do anything. Except for-"  
  
Heero's lips were promptly seized, and his clean clothes were shedded, "I know, I know, Wu-man told me." Duo replied and turned off the lamp.   
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
"Maxwell!"  
  
Duo stirred.  
  
"Maxwell get up!"  
  
This was the stupidiest dream ever, Duo thought, he was seducing Heero and as Heero moaned he also yelled, 'Maxwell! Maxwell get up!', it was very unlike Heero to do that.  
  
"Maxwell!"  
  
Wait a minute...that wasn't Heero's voice.   
  
"Shut up Chang!"  
  
But that was.  
  
Duo opened his violet orbs and meet with cobalt, "Mornin' Hee-chan." he said groggily in his regular morning voice. Duo kissed Heero's forehead and pulled the covers over their heads.  
  
"What are you doing?" Heero asked.  
  
Duo closed his eyes and croaked, "Going back to sleep, what's it look like?"   
  
"You have to--"  
  
"--stay here with my lover and sleep until noon or so. That's what I have to do." Duo said cutting Heero off.  
  
"Duo..."  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"But you have to make breakfast." Heero reminded.  
  
That's right, he did have to make breakfast. "Are you standing up for them now?"  
  
Heero shook his head, "You're a man, accept your responsibilities."  
  
Duo raised from the bed and went to brush his teeth, "Quatre wanna-be..." he mumbled.  
  
"Duo...!"  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
When Duo was dressed, he stumbled downstairs and saw Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei all waiting for him.  
  
"Ohayo." he said. The American casually plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Maybe if he acted like he had forgotten, they would screw the whole thing over.  
  
"What are you doing Maxwell?" Wufei asked.  
  
"Watching my Saturday morning cartoons. What else?"  
  
Trowa and Wufei hauled Duo into the kitchen and Quatre dropped a large cookbook in his lap.  
  
"Oof!"  
  
"This should have the recipe. Have fun!" he said and left.   
  
Time for Plan A.  
  
Duo grinned and grabbed the telephone book, "Lessee...breakfast caterers..."  
  
"Maxwell!" Wufei yelled firmly slicing the phone book into two, "What is the meaning of this? Are you THAT low and dishonorable to try to ORDER something so simple that you are to make with your own bare hands???"  
  
Duo thought for a moment, "For this, yes!"  
  
"I will not allow it!" Wufei gathered the dismantled book of yellow pages and disposed of them.  
  
"Damn." Duo cursed, "Let's try Plan B."  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
Duo picked up the phone.  
  
RingRing  
  
RingRing  
  
RingRing  
  
RingRi-  
  
"Moshi, moshi?"  
  
"Hilde, babe, friend, pal, buddy, soul sis!" Duo chirped, "How've you been?"   
  
"...what you you want Duo?"  
  
Duo frowned, "Are you sayin'-"  
  
"What do you want Duo?"  
  
"Okay, now you're acting like Heero."  
  
"Is that a bad thing? I thought you were lovers."  
  
"We are...he just doesn't have very good people skills ya know?"  
  
Hilde smiled on the other line, "Yeah, okay, riiiiiiiight. What do you want Duo?"  
  
"...Can you make me some French Toa-"  
  
"Duo get off the phone." an unknown voice ordered Duo.  
  
"..." Duo paused and looked at the phone, since when did Hilde sound like-, "Trowa???"  
  
"Hai Duo, get off the phone."  
  
Duo sighed, "See ya later Hilde. Forget I called."  
  
"Sure, sayonara."  
  
"Ja ne."  
  
Click.  
  
Then Trowa popped his head in the kitchen, "Stay off the telephone Duo."  
  
"Fine, fine. Whatever." Duo replied as Trowa resumed to his earlier activity.   
  
Suddenly Heero walked in. "Well if it isn't my gorgeous Hee-chan." Duo said acknowledging his presence said and thought,   
  
'Time for plan C...'  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
Duo walked slowly over to Heero and circled him, "What are you doing here? This could get very dangerous..."  
  
"I was told to watch you while you were in here so you don't do anything stupid like burn your braid off or something..." Heero said eyeing the boy.  
  
"Why would I do something like that?"  
  
"...because you can't cook."  
  
Shinigami ran his index finger under Heero's bottom lip, jawline, and nose (some of Heero's sensitive spots on his pretty face) as he still circled him, "You're so beautiful, you do know that we could be doing OTHER things right now, don't you?"   
  
"Aa..." Heero said trying to keep his cool which was very difficult with Duo around.  
  
"And you do know that I absolutely LOVE you to death, ne?" Duo whispered seductively into Heero's ear.  
  
"Aa..." he replied shakily.  
  
Duo stopped circling the boy. He was behind Heero and kissed the side of his head sliding his hands under Heero's shirt, "And you do know how badly I can't cook..."  
  
Heero melted into his senses forgetting about what his instructions were. All he could think of was Duo. He gasped when the Deathscythe's pilot began to play with his nipple.  
  
"That's right Hee-chan..." Duo licked the side of Heero's face and began sucking on his neck.  
  
"Duo......." Heero moaned as the other boy claimed his lips, "Mmmm..."  
  
"Oh Allah!"   
  
Heero pulled away from Duo remember why he was sent into the kitchen in the first place, "Duo! No sexing the monitor!" Quatre said, "Heero, your mission is to make sure Duo does nothing else but cook! Understood?"  
  
Heero recovered from Duo's temptation, "Ninmu ryokai..." he replied vowing not to let Duo use him to try to escape making breakfast again.  
  
"We trust you Heero."  
  
Heero nodded and sat in a chair not to far from the stove and kitchen appliances.  
  
"Shame on you Duo," Quatre scolded, "I can't believe you would stoop so low!"  
  
"Hn..." Duo grunted stealing Heero's infamous line.  
  
"Don't do it again, alright?" Quatre tossed something to Duo. "Put this on." he said.  
  
It was an apron. A *PINK* apron with lacy sides.  
  
"NANI?! This is ugliest thing that I've ever seen!"  
  
"Put it on."  
  
"No way! Give it to Relena or something!"  
  
"Put it on or I'll tell Hee-"  
  
"Shhhhh!!!"  
  
"Put it on."  
  
Duo rolled his eyes, "Yes, Mother." he said sarcastically to Quatre's retreating back. He looked over at Heero, "What are you laughing at???"  
  
"Ahem...nothing."  
  
Duo glared.  
  
The braided boy, knowing that Heero wouldn't help him, was trapped. He had no other choice but to use the most deadliest of his many plans.   
  
"Plan D."  
  
Duo sighed, he didn't want to resort to this...  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
On to part 2?  
~!~!~!~!~  
Okay, I divided this up into two parts, for once, I uploaded them both at the same time. Hope you enjoy the next if you choose to go on. ^_^ Ja ne! 


	2. lesson

Disclaimers: I have a dog, but you can't have him.  
  
Warnings: YAOI 2x1, implied 3+4 (don't like, don't read), humor, sap/fluff, Duo in the kitchen, mild language.  
  
Notes: This is how I pictured Duo making French Toast. Fun. Enjoy!  
~!~!~!~!~  
Shinigami's French Toast  
  
Part 2  
~!~!~!~!~  
"K'so..." Shinigami pulled out a frying pan and opened the cookbook. There was no escaping for him. "Hee-chan, how do you use one of these?" he asked holding the pan up for Heero to see.  
  
"It's upside down, Duo."  
  
"..." Duo frowned and turned the pan over, "...oh."  
  
Yep. Plan D, Duo was going to go through with the torture and cook that damn breakfast.  
  
"What are you making for them?" Heero asked after awhile.  
  
"...French Toast."  
  
Heero blinked, "French Toast? Do you even know HOW to make it?"  
  
Duo grinned, "Nope!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Quat gave me this nice, big, confusing cookbook with the recipe. I'm sure I'll figure it out."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Okokok, I probably won't understand a single word of it."  
  
"Duo...it's a children's cookbook."  
  
The violet eyed boy read the cover; 'Cooking Made EZ for Kids!' it read.  
  
"Dammit!"   
  
"Hn."  
  
Duo skimmed through a few pages, "And I STILL don't understand it! Now I just feel stupid!" he shouted then thought about what he just said, "But that just adds to the suffering, ne?"  
  
"Suffering?"  
  
"Hai, I hid all of the cereals and breakfast bars, so when they will be oblidged to eat my cooking and puke their guts out, they won't have anything to turn to!"  
  
"You're evil."  
  
Duo's grin widen, "I know...but you love me for that though."  
  
"Hai..." Heero nodded, 'And many more reasons.' he added mentally. Heero laid his head on the table and tensed, would that mean that he would-  
  
"Relax Heero, you and I can go out to eat. I wouldn't DREAM of poisoning you, koi."  
  
Heero sighed in relief.  
  
"Hee-chan?"  
  
Heero looked up at Duo, "Nani?"  
  
"What's...'blluuuuuuuuueebeeeerrrrrrrryyy frrrrreennnncchhh...tooooaaa...sssTTT'?" Duo asked squinting at the book.  
  
"Blueberry French Toast?"   
  
"Yeah! Wait...that's what I'm making! Duh! I knew that." Duo slapped his forehead, "Silly me."  
  
Heero smirked, "Baka."  
  
"Well it wouldn't be so hard to read if the print wasn't microscopic and the font wasn't so...messy." Duo commented.  
  
Heero shrugged and watched Duo.  
  
"Anou...Hee-chan?"  
  
"Nani?" Heero asked propping his head up on the palm of his hand.  
  
"What the hell is an 'ounce'?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Fine, don't help. I know you know."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"...whatever!" Duo searched for a measuring cup, "Eureka." he read the markings on the side, "Ohhhhhh...I see. Thanks Hee-chan."  
  
"Hn."  
  
/12 slices of white bread (cut into 1-inch cubes), 16 ounces cream cheese (cut into 1-inch cubes), 1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries, 12 eggs (beaten), 2 cups of milk, 1/3 cup honey or maple syrup/  
  
"What the hell is all of this crap?!" Duo panicked.  
  
Heero gave his partner a half-lidded stare, "Ingredients maybe?"  
  
"...Okay."   
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
Wufei stood up from his seat, "I'm going to check on Maxwell and Yuy."   
  
"Good idea, tell us how things are going." Quatre replied reading a book.  
  
The Asian boy walked to the kitchen doors and peeked in.  
  
"...lessee...now it says I need a 9x13-inch greased baking pan..." Wufei heard Duo say to what he was assuming was Heero. He walked back to Quatre and Trowa.  
  
"How is everything?" Trowa asked.  
  
"Seems alright...for now at least. Maxwell is getting the ingredients."  
  
"Good, maybe we'll have a nice breakfast."  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
POP! SPLAT!  
  
"DAMMIT!"  
  
BeepBeepBoop  
  
"Duo, I told you not to put the eggs in the microwave..." Heero said watching his lover press all of the buttons on the white electric box.  
  
BeepBeepBeep  
  
"No, you said, 'Are you sure that's a good idea'. I said, 'I don't know, let's find out'. You said, 'Hn'." Duo replayed giving up on the exploded eggs. "I'll clean it up later."  
  
"...no you won't."  
  
"You're right. I'll get Wufei to do it."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Okay, whatever you say, dear."  
  
Heero cocked an eyebrow, "'Dear'?"  
  
Duo shrugged, "Deer, horse, cow, goat, sheep, llama...whatever floats your boat."  
  
"..." Heero decided it was best to not bother.  
  
/Layer half the bread cubes in a greased 9x13-inch baking pan./  
  
Duo read from the book, "9x13, huh? If Treize is 13, then who's nine? It's not that Zechs guys, he's 6. You're 1, I'm 2, Tro's 3, Quat's 4, Wu-man is 5, I don't think Relena has a number, but then again I could be mistaken. I don't know! She confuses me beyond the properties of thermal dynamic factors. I always thought that Hilde was 'H', and Catherine was 'C' or 'Trowa's sister', what about Dorothy? She's 'D', right? What does that make Sally than? 'S'? I guess so. Then maybe it's Une...I don't know. NO! It's NOIN! 9 is Noin right? Right? It has to be, I remember-"  
  
"Duo?"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"SHUT. UP." Heero said holding his head.  
  
"Okokok." Duo placed the bread cubes on the bottom of the pan, "Woah...I've never read a 9x13 fic before...6x13, 5x13, Unex13, hell! 13x1, which I particularly didn't like, but a 9x13? I've never--"  
  
"Duo!"  
  
"Shh! I'm trying to think...it says two cups of milk." Duo walked to a cabinet full of cups across the kitchen and pulled out two glasses. While bringing them back, he stumbled on the small rug infront of the sink, "Gah!"  
  
The glasses shattered, "SHIT!"  
  
"Great. I can't cook AND I'm a CLUTZ!" Duo cursed and began picking up the broken glass shards. Heero left his chair to help Duo clean up. "Hee-chan, you're going to cut yourself."  
  
Heero smirked, "I'm not the clutz."  
  
The two finished cleaning the glass and Duo resumed his cooking. He went back to the cabinet, but this time he grabbed a shot glass and cystal wine cup. The pilot filled them to the top with milk.  
  
/Layer the cream cheese cubes over the bread./  
  
"I can do that," Duo ran to the refrigerator, "cream cheese, cream cheese, cream cheese. There's not cream cheese!" Duo cried, "Oh well, I guess this whip cream and cheddar cheese will have to do." the braided boy somehow shaped them into cubes then placed them in the pan.   
  
"Okay, now that that's dealt with, 'layer the blueberries and remaining bread over the cream cheese'. Alright." Duo did just that, flawlessly.  
  
/Combine eggs, milk, honey in a medium bowl./  
  
"Bowl...Hee-chan, where does Quat keep his bowls?"   
  
"Top cabinet."  
  
"Arigato!" Duo bounced over to the top cabinet and pulled out a bowl normally used for cereal and soup. "Medium sized enough for me." he said to himself and poured the rest of the ingredients into the bowl unaware that a third of the contents had sloshed out of the sides.  
  
/Beat well./   
  
Duo paused for a moment, "'Beat well'? Heero, what does that mean?" he asked.  
  
The Japanese boy raised an eyebrow, "It means to beat the eggs."  
  
"...how do I do that?"  
  
Heero sighed as he located a device and handed it to his confused lover, "With this."  
  
Duo glared at the tool, "What the hell is that??? Some kinda weird alien wired safety drill?"   
  
"Try an electric wisk."  
  
"Oh." Duo placed the end of the wisk in the bowl, "...now what?"  
  
"Baka, I said electronic, didn't I?"  
  
Duo thought for a second, electronic. That meant it ran by electricity. Duo found the plug for wisk, "I have to plug it in!"  
  
Heero didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything at all.  
  
Shinigami pushed the plug into the outlet in the wall, he examined the wisk. He felt vibration in his hands as the eggs and such were mixed together, "Wow! How does this thing work???" Duo wondered, he pulled the device out of the bowl to take a closer look...  
  
The two silver wisk began spinning rapidly spurting the mixture everywhere; across the walls, on the floor, and all over his lover and him.  
  
"Duo!" Heero shouted covering his face from the attack of the wisk.  
  
"How do you turn this thing off?!" Duo asked.  
  
"Unplug it!"  
  
Duo reached for the plug, but missed and knocked over the pan containing the bread cubes to the floor.  
  
"Oh crap!"   
  
He dropped the wisk on the counter and picked up the upturned pan from the ground. Quickly, the boy gathered everything into the dish again.   
  
"Five second rule[1]!" he declared and put the pan on the counter as if nothing every happened. Mean while, Heero had unplugged the electric wisk. "Arigato," he said. Duo stared at his lover and sheepishly smiled, "Gomen Hee-chan."   
  
Covered with a mixture from hell, Heero glared at the braided baka. Duo was such a CLUTZY STUPID IDIOT when it came to cooking. You'd think the boy would have enough common sense to beat the eggs. He couldn't think of anything to say, except, "OMAE O KOROSU!" Heero shouted lunging at the other batter-covered boy.  
  
"Eep!" Duo squeaked, "I'm sorry! I don't know what the hell I'm doing!"  
  
"I realized that!" the Japanese boy tackled the American to the floor.   
  
Duo counter attacked, effortlessly pinning Heero down, he kissed the boy in an area free from unknown substance, "Okokok, I won't mess with the damn wisk."  
  
"Hn." Heero pouted.  
  
"Aw, but Hee-chan, you look so kawaii with batter all over your pretty face..." Duo grinned.  
  
Heero deepened his glare, "I'm not cute."  
  
Duo kissed the tip of Heero's nose, "Yes you are."  
  
"Get off."  
  
"Didn't we do this yesterday?" Duo asked.  
  
"I have to take another bath now, get off."   
  
"We did do this yesterday!"   
  
"Duo, let me go."  
  
"Kiss me." Duo said. Heero reached up and pecked the boy on the cheek, "What the hell was that???"   
  
"Your kiss, now get off."  
  
"No. Do it again." Duo ordered. Heero found his lover's braid and gave it a good yank. "Itai!" Duo shrieked and releasing Heero. "Hee-chan, what about my kiss?"  
  
"I'll give you one when you're not covered with shit." Heero exited the kitchen.  
  
"Argh..."  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
/Pour egg mixture evenly over the top of the bread layer./  
  
Duo read from the cookbook. He took the bowl and poured the batter in the center. "Evenly, huh?" Duo spread the mixture out leaving clumps here and there, "That's good enough."  
  
/Cover./   
  
Duo searched for something to cover his creation with. He snapped his fingers when he found a suitable blanket, "Book!" he quickly memorized the rest of the instructions.  
  
/Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake, covered, for 30 minutes. Bake, uncovered, for 30 minutes or until lightly browned. Serve with cinnamon, syrup, or powdered sugar./  
  
"Got it."  
  
With that, Duo covered the pan with the cookbook.   
  
"350? Let's speed up the process..." Duo said and rised the oven to 700 degrees, yes, it went up that high...unfortunately.  
"Sweet." Duo placed the pan into the scorching oven, "At this rate, I'll have it all done in a half hour!" Duo said glancing down at his watch which read 10:30 AM, "But what would I do in that time?"   
  
Just then Heero walked back into the kitchen feeling that it wasn't that smart to leave in the first place. The kitchen was a mess. Eggs shells were all over the place, batter hung from the ceiling fan, there was still broken glass on the floor,   
  
"Did you put the toast in the oven yet?"  
  
"Hai." Duo ran over to Heero and sandwiched him between the wall next to the door and himself. He attacked the clean boy with his lips. "You left me Hee-chan."  
  
"Du-" Heero tried to protest, but found it hopeless and gave up letting Duo do whatever he pleased with him.   
  
Screw breakfast.  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
Ten minutes later...  
  
"Winner, Barton, how long does it take to make French Toast?"  
  
Quatre looked up at the clock wall, "My goodness! It's been over three hours!"  
  
"So it seems." Trowa said.  
  
"Trowa, do you smell that?" Quatre asked putting down his book.  
  
The uni-banged boy inhaled the air, "Smoke." he replied casually and resumed reading the morning newspaper.  
  
"Smoke?!"   
  
The three ran to the kitchen.  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
Laying under Duo on the floor, Heero heard a krackling sound from the oven, "Duo?"  
  
"Nani?" Duo asked kissing Heero's exposed chest.  
  
"How long has that been in the oven?"  
  
"What time is it?"   
  
Heero grabbed Duo's wrist that had a watch on it, "10:55."  
  
"Don't worry, we still have 5 minutes..." Heero glared and sat up, "Heeeeeeeee~chaaaaaan!" Shinigami whined.  
  
"Duo, the oven's on fire!"  
  
"Nani???" Duo rose from the ground and looked over at the oven, sure enough it was. Red flames had engulfed the 9x13-inch pan and smoke seeped through the egdes filling the air with a gray color. "Shit! I forgot to move the cover!"  
  
"Duo, go get the fire extinguisher," Heero ran to the oven, "You set is on 700 degrees???!!!" he yelled turning it off the burning chamber.  
  
The braided baka came back with a red fire extinguisher, "Yeah, I thought it would make things faster."  
  
Glaring, Heero grabbed the cylinder from Duo and sprayed the sides of the fire-lit oven covering it with white foam. "What did you use to cause this??? What did the cookbook say? ...where *IS* the cookbook???" Heero asked ceasing the fire.   
  
"I used it to cover the pan while baking."   
  
"NANI?!" Heero coughed.  
  
"Yeah, I couldn't think of anything at the moment, and you weren't here to ask. So I decided to use the cookbook."   
  
With thick potholders, Heero opened the oven and quickly pulled out the French Toast. Placing it on the batter covered counter, he sighed, "Duo, paper is flamable."  
  
"I know."  
  
Heero rolled his eyes. He put the fan on high and opened all the windows. Soon the smoke soon defused out of the house. Heero uncovered the pan and revealed toast that was very sad, very blackened, and very small.  
  
"Hey...that's not what it's suppose to look like!"   
  
"What did you expect when you turned up the oven to 700 degrees?"  
  
...  
  
Duo laughed.  
  
"Hahahahahahahaha!"   
  
When his laughter subsided, he bent down and kissed Heero.  
  
"..."  
  
"Hee-chan! We have to prepare and serve this to the others!"  
  
"..."  
  
"C'mon, I gotta teach them a lesson."  
  
"Never trust Duo Maxwell in the kitchen?"  
  
"Hai." Duo replied and retrieved breakfast plates and one large dish. "Help me out will ya?" Duo asked. Heero, not having much of a choice, neatly set the sorely burnt toast out on the large serving dish and covered it with a silver lid.  
  
Duo ran to the fridge and poured three cups of orange juice.  
  
"Maxwell! Yuy!"  
  
"Heero go tell them we're fine!" Duo said running the cups and plates to the next room which was the dining area.  
  
Heero nodded and stuck his head out of the door, "Wufei, go away, we're fine. We'll call you when you're ready."  
  
"Heero, we smelt smoke!" Quatre interjected.  
  
Heero glared at the boy, "We were suffering minor setbacks. Resume your morning activities."   
  
"But-"  
  
*SLAM*  
  
The three boys looked at each other bewildered, then left for the living room.  
  
"Perfect." a newly cleaned Duo said gazing at the nicely set table. Three white plates sat waiting to be eaten off of with orange juice and silverware to the side. Covered, at the center of the table lay a large dish with a surprise. "Heero, it's time."  
  
Heero sighed.  
  
"Quat! Tro! Wu! Breakfast!"  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
"It's about time Maxwell." Wufei grunted seated at the table.  
  
Duo lifted the lid to the toast, "Duo Maxwell's French Toast!"  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
Wufei poked at the crispy black lump infront of him, "Maxwell, what the hell is that shit?"  
  
"My French Toast, Wu." Duo said as Heero placed a slice on each of the three boys' plates. "I put SO much effort in it for you guys. Try it!"   
  
"Aren't you and Heero going to join us?" Trowa asked hoping to at least get Heero to try it with them.  
  
"No, I promised to go out with Heero since he's been gone for three days. If we ate now, we wouldn't be able to eat later." Duo explained. "Are you gonna eat it or what???" Duo plopped down in a chair across from Quatre and gave him big puppy eyes, "Puh-LEEZE? You wanted me to cook, and I did!"  
  
Quatre gulped, how could he resist Duo? He picked up the toast and took a bite. He nearly cried.  
  
It was AWFUL!  
  
"What do you think???" Duo asked expectantly.  
  
"...Crun...chy..." Quatre managed to say as he reluctantly took another bite. "I mean, REALLY crunchy."  
  
Duo looked over at Trowa. "Tro?"  
  
Trowa eyed the braided boy. Holding his nose, he slowly bite into the crispy...thing.  
  
"Do you like it?"   
  
Emerald eyes shrugged.  
  
Not expecting much, Duo decided to move on. As soon as Duo turned his back, Trowa spit the toast out into a napkin provided and made a face that reeked 'UGH! THAT WAS THE NASTIEST, MOST REPLUSIVE THING I'VE EVER TRIED!!!', but Duo didn't notice so it was alright.  
  
"What about you Wu-Wu???"   
  
"I'm not eating that." Wufei said bluntly.  
  
"Why not???" Duo asked irritated.  
  
"Because I might die."  
  
"Wu~feeeiiiiiii!" Duo knew it was bad, and Wufei could have just told that. He didn't have to insult him.  
  
"I'm not eating it Max-"  
  
Heero shoved a piece of toast into Wufei's big mouth.  
  
"YoOii!" Wufei attempted to accuse.  
  
Click  
  
"Chew." Heero ordered gunpointing the Chinese pilot. "*NOW*."  
  
Wufei chewed and swallowed the whole thing.  
  
"Wah! Wu-man! You ate it all! You must like it! Here, Hee-chan give him another!" Duo said like an excited fangirl who had just meet her super anime dream guy.  
  
"Wwwaaahhhhuuuhhhnnngggwwuuhhaauuunnnfff!" Wufei grunted as Heero stuffed another piece of toast in his mouth.  
  
"Well, Heero and I are going to go now. I expect that plate to be emptied when we get back, ne?"  
  
The other three groaned.  
  
"That's what I thought. Let's go Hee-chan!" Duo chimed as he pulled Heero out the door, "Wanna eat at IHOP, my treat."  
  
"Okay."  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
"Maxwell can NOT cook! I forbid it!" Wufei yelled.  
  
"I agree." Trowa said as the three took the dishes to the kitchen.  
  
"Oh Allah."  
  
"Oh Buddha."  
  
"..."  
  
It was a wreck.  
  
"Want to order take out?" Quatre sighed.  
  
"Yes! *ANYTHING* is better than Shinigami's French Toast."  
~!~!~!~!~  
  
Owari  
  
~!~!~!~!~  
[1]- Five Second Rule: I'm sure you're familiar with that. Whenever something falls on the floor, if you pick it up before five seconds, it's still good. Whether that's true or not, I don't know, I just thought it would be something that Duo might say. -_-;  
*pouts* Can anyone tell me why the spacing isn't right? Like the title is supposed to be away from the notes, but they aren't. They're right under it, and I don't know how to fix it. It's kinda bothering me. Like the "owari" line. Can someone tell me why I can't space it the way I want??? Onegai?  
I personally don't know if Duo's cooking is *that* bad, but oh well. It was something to write about ^_^.  
  
Ja ne! 


End file.
